FISSIONMAILED: That better be paint and not what I think it is.

[volginswaifu]

[Ivan was relaxing in one of the outdoor rooms. The sun shining, a cool breeze blowing through his hair. A stash of snackcakes by his side...


...and a sniper positioned on an adjacent cliffside several hundred feet away.]

Comments

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

[PASSES THE FUCK OUT...AGAIN.]

[gameboy-sniper.livejournal.com]

[PIERRE FEELS AS IF HE IS KICKING A PUPPY.]

[ONLY FAR MORE FUN.]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

[PIERRE ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO SIT THERE AND WAIT FOR IVAN TO WAKE UP AGAIN?]

[PLEASE SAY NO.]

[gameboy-sniper.livejournal.com]

[....]





[YES. YES HE IS.]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

[YOU WALRUS DICK.]

[Ivan eventually stirs after about 6 minutes, rolling onto his back and holding his head.]

Ughh...

[gameboy-sniper.livejournal.com]

[BEST, MOST AWESOME WALRUS DICK.]

[BAM!]

[Another shot!]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

AUUUGH!

[WHO WAS SHOOTING AT HIM?!]

[Ivan cowered behind a tree.]

[gameboy-sniper.livejournal.com]

[Aww, Pierre can't shoot around a tree.]

[He waits for you to come out.]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

[NEVER COMING OUT.

NEVER.

Until he needs to eat.]

[gameboy-sniper.livejournal.com]

[That's okay.]

[PIERRE CAN STAY HERE FOR DAYS.]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

[Well then, you do that. In the meantime Ivan's going to take out his binoculars and have a look around.

He's well aware it must be a sniper of some sort, since he hadn't even heard the gunshots.]

Hmm...

[gameboy-sniper.livejournal.com]

[Do you know any other snipers, Raikoc? Really?]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

[He forgot Pierre was a sniper, but his ignorance is a moot point, because he's spotted you, Pierre.]

...Pierre.

[gameboy-sniper.livejournal.com]

[He does it because he loves you!]

[Only not.]

[You're just really fun to mess with.]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

[Ivan ducks back behind the tree, contemplating his situation. He quickly formulates a plan and turns back around, cupping his hands over his mouth like a megaphone.]

[gameboy-sniper.livejournal.com]

ONLY THE BIGGEST AND THE BEST!

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

[He fumes, surveying his surroundings.

There had to be a way to get to Pierre without risking getting hit by his strange paint-flinging sniper rifle again.

Quickly he duck and rolls behind another nearby tree, a few feet ahead.]

[gameboy-sniper.livejournal.com]

GOOD LUCK GETTING UP HERE!

[Pierre chose this spot for a reason.]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

Rrrr...!

[PERSEVERANCE IS KEY--AND IVAN DOESN'T KNOW WHEN TO GIVE UP.

He continues advancing towards the far away cliffs, ducking behind various foliage.]

[gameboy-sniper.livejournal.com]

I'M WAITING~!

[Pierre just going to shoot you every time you're not under cover now 'kay?]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

[AND IVAN WILL JUST BE COVERED IN BROWN PAINT BY THE TIME HE GETS ANYWHERE NEAR THE CLIFF.

BUT NOW THE QUESTION IS...HOW TO SCALE IT.]

[gameboy-sniper.livejournal.com]

[SHIT A RAINBOW AND FLY UP YELLING 'ADVENTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!']

[Also PAINTBALL IN THE FACE.]

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

[That's a bad idea and you should feel ba--] AUGHH!

[MOMENTARILY BLINDED.

WALKS INTO THE CLIFF WALL.]

[gameboy-sniper.livejournal.com]

[Oh but I feel victorious~]

HAAAHAHAHAHAAHA!

[volginswaifu.livejournal.com]

[IS GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU WHEN HE GETS UP THERE...AFTER HE GETS PAINT OUT OF HIS EYES, BRB.

Ivan stumbles off behind a bush to clean up.]