THAT SNEAKY GAY BASTARD

[voice;]

This is ridiculous! I should have never left Mahogany town. My clothes are filthy from travel, back at Groznyj Grad I would have been provided a vehicle!

[He grumbles.]

Those monsters, Pokémon, if I see one more purple rat I'm going to scream. You can't even eat them! THEY'RE USELESS!

[Looks like he screamed anyway. His Pikachu can be heard in the background.]

Pika...?

It's either eat berries or take menial jobs...I became a Major so lesser people would do this for me.

[action;]

[If anybody in Cherrygrove decides to visit the PokéMart, Ivan's there, begrudgingly working part time at the register and wasting time by fiddling with his PokéGear. He's still wearing his scuffed up Major's uniform, of course.]

[The video screen shook a bit, as Ivan seemed to be adjusting it after finally figuring out how the damn thing worked. His face took up the majority of the screen.

Amazing! This thing didn't even look like a camera, and it seemed to do a lot more than just that too. They had portable cameras where he came from, but video was a whole 'nother story.

There was a whine, obviously feral, and the camera shifted down to a small yellow rat. Or Pikachu, but Ivan preferred to call it a rat.]

Heh! And look at this thing--it fits into a ball!

[He shoves it with his foot. The "rat" protests again, sparking angrily. Ivan either ignores it or simply doesn't notice as he turns the camera back to his beautiful visage. The lens wasn't as close now, and his Soviet Major's uniform could be seen. He had refused to change into his new Rocket uniform.]

If somebody could explain to me how to get home, the only assholes I talked to--

[And that's about the last thing Ivan says (besides a surprised scream) as he gets a good shock and the feed ends.]